sábado, setembro 03, 2005

Conversa entre um Homem comum e um Lógico

Uma convesa num bar entre um homem comum (H) e um estranho (E):
H: "Você é um Lógicista??? O que é isso??"
E: "O.k. eu explico: Tu tens um aquário?
H: "Sim ..."
E: "Então estão com certeza peixes lá dentro!"
H: "Sim ..."
E: "Se estão peixes lá dentro, então gostas tambem de animais."
H: "Sim ..."
E: "Se gostas de animais, então tambem gostas de crianças."
H: "Sim ..."
E: "Se gostas de crianças então tu tens prório filhos..."
H: "Sim!"
E: "Se tu tens filhos então tambem tens uma mulher."
H: "Sim..."
E: "Se tens uma mulher então amas mulheres."
H: "Sim..."
E: "Se tu gostas de mulheres então não amas homens!"
H: "Lógicamente!"
E: "Se tu não amas homens, então não és paneleiro!"
H: "É verdade, INCRÍVEL!"

O estranho vai-se e vem um amigo (A)...
H: "Olha tenho de te contar uma coisa: Eu encontrei agora um Lógicista!"
A: "Um QUÊ?"
H: "Um Lógicista. Eu explico-te...tens um aquário?"
A: "Não..."
H: "Paneleiro de merda!"

5 Bitaites:

kovacec mandou o bitaite...

eu sou lógico, tenho um peixe, não tenho aquário e fugi do meu país por amor. o que sou eu?

kovacec mandou o bitaite...

eu sou lógico, tenho um peixe, não tenho aquário e fugi do meu país por amor. o que sou eu?

Fetchez la vache mandou o bitaite...

[King Arthur music]
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR:
Halt!
[horn]
Hallo!
[pause]
Hallo!
FRENCH GUARD:
Allo! Who is eet?
ARTHUR:
It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
FRENCH GUARD:
This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
ARTHUR:
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FRENCH GUARD:
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
ARTHUR:
What?
GALAHAD:
He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR:
Are you sure he's got one?
FRENCH GUARD:
Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
FRENCH GUARDS:
[chuckling]

ARTHUR:
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD:
Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR:
Well, what are you, then?
FRENCH GUARD:
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD:
What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD:
Mind your own business!
ARTHUR:
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD:
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD:
What a strange person.
ARTHUR:
Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD:
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD:
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[sniff]
ARTHUR:
Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD:
Quoi?
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache!)
[mooo]
ARTHUR:
If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]

[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
KNIGHTS:
Christ!
[thud]
Ah! Ohh!
ARTHUR:
Right! Charge!
KNIGHTS:
Charge!
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
And this one's for your dad!
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away!
FRENCH GUARD:
Thppppt!
FRENCH GUARDS:
[taunting]
LAUNCELOT:
Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
ARTHUR:
No, no. No, no.
BEDEVERE:
Sir! I have a plan, sir.

[later]

[wind]
[saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw]
[clunk]
[bang]
[rewr!]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak]
[rrrr rrrr rrrr]
[drilllll]
[sawwwww]
[clunk]
[crash]
[clang]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]

[creak]
FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering]
C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[clllank]
ARTHUR:
What happens now?
BEDEVERE:
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR:
Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE:
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh...
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
BEDEVERE:
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--
[clank]
[twong]
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!

[CRASH]
FRENCH GUARDS:
Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh...

DivaDoKaraoke mandou o bitaite...

isto está uma loucura... beijinhos... amo-vos!!!!

Scarlett Johansson mandou o bitaite...

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